


Foresight

by Unceasing



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-20
Updated: 2013-03-20
Packaged: 2017-12-05 21:26:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/728096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unceasing/pseuds/Unceasing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You heard it all from the beginning, that the game would be the death of everyone. But you're tired of not doing anything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Foresight

**Author's Note:**

> It's been sitting in my focuswriter files for a while, so I decided to do something with it.♥

You’ve got your earphones on and your eyes closed, and for the moment, you pretend like the world doesn’t exist. All guitar and vocals and the base booming in your ears, and just for a bit, nothing matters. You can’t hear anything. Just the music. Just the rhythm. Just the beat. It’s trailing through your body like a drug, all beats and measures and a bunch of things you can’t explain because you don’t know music, but you know feeling. You can feel the base hit your ears and pound like a second heartbeat, and you love it.

There aren’t any voices then. Not really. Not exactly. It’s just you and maybe a little background noise and then the music, and that’s all there is. You lean back against your chair, take a deep breath, and pretend like everything is okay.

Inhale - Exhale - Inhale -

You can’t pretend like everything is okay anymore.

Exhale.

* * *

 

_Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR, and you don’t know where your head is._

Sometimes it’s okay, except it really isn’t, but sometimes you can pretend that it is. Shut out the voices, act like they aren’t really there. Act like your friends aren’t all going to die. Act like there won’t be a betrayal. Act like nothing is ever going to go wrong, and if something does, you aren’t a part of it. Nope, you are blissfully unaware, and will be shocked when it happens because you didn’t _hear_ it coming.

That’s what the problem is, really. You’re watching Karkat rage at the computer screen, because something has happened, and you can just hear all the different ways that he could go. All the ways. They’re all whispers and shouts and promises and affirmations in your mind and sometimes, it’s too much. Sometimes you want to pull away and break things and hurt people and you can’t control this, not really, because you just had to be the crazy one with the voices on top of it like a nice little sunday.

“Dude, Sollux. How about you actually fucking pay attention for once, and not let your fucking think pan rot from lack of use. Seriously dude, you are like, the second most spacy person I know and even then, you’re only topped by _Gamzee._ Shit, but with how you fucking act sometimes, I wonder. _Are_ you on something? Like, maybe not that sorpor shit because I’m pretty sure that you’re smart enough to not actually bake a fucking _pie out of it,_ but still. There’s other shit out there and I know you would know about it. So yeah. What the fuck have you been taking, and why the fuck haven’t you been sharing.”

You know he’s kidding. If anyone were going to do any sort of drugs, it wouldn’t be him. But you do think it would be sort of funny to see him in some half-baked state. Hell, Gamzee had tricked him into eating one of his “special cupcakes,” and the result had been something that even you found hilarious.

You had stolen his hands during that time. Whatever the fuck that meant.

“I’m not _on_ anything,” you say instead, spinning your computer chair back so you’re facing your own computing device. You can’t stand what your head is buzzing about him, and it’s not like turning away will stop it, but you pretend it does. “and do you even lithten to yourthelf? I would never put thomething into by body that could potentially fuck it up. I actually _need_ my brain, thince no one elthe on thith fucking meteor theemth to uthe their own.”

You wish you had your music playing device. You really do. You know that Karkat is going to die and you know that others are going to die and you know that all of this death is looming just over the corner because Gamzee, you know, he is going to lose it and _he will kill so many. he will kill all your friends and someone else is going to start, they are going to start and it is going to trigger a state of events that you will never be able to stop. hehe, you’re going to fail. you’re gonna try to stop it and you’re gonna fail and if you had been stronger you could have prevented this. you fail and you’re pathetic and you, haha, karkat’s gonna die. he’s gonna die and eridan’s gonna die and feferi’s gonna die and nepita’s gonna die and -_

“Oh. Hey, fuck you, that was a backhanded insult and you know it. What are you doing over there, anyway? You’ve sort of just been staring at the screen like an idiot for a while now.”

You didn’t notice. You haven’t noticed a lot of things lately, and not for lack of trying. It’s just getting harder and harder to keep yourself grounded in reality, when you’ve got the whispers of the soon-to-be-dead clouding your head like there’s no tomorrow.

“Thpeaking with a doomed Aradiabot. Now go back to your ragefit with John about your shitty movieth and leave me be.”

You hear Karkat mumble some half-assed reply, but he does go and do what he is told. He usually does. As bitchy as Karkat is, you’re easily able to get him to do what you want.

[AA] s0llux

[AA] maybe y0u sh0uld tell s0me0ne ab0ut what is g0ing 0n in y0ur mind

[TA] iif I diid that, would iit change the outcome?

[AA] n0

[TA] then iit doe2nt matter.

[AA] but it w0uld make y0u feel better w0uldnt it

[AA] and that matters

[AA] d0esnt it?

[TA] what the hell do you know AA.

[TA] youre a 2tupiid robot and even before that you were a 2tupiid dead person.

[TA] iim 2tiill 2orry about that, ju2t 2o you know.

[AA] its 0k

[AA] i spent a l0t 0f time getting used to being dead, and n0t having feelings anym0re

[AA] and then i g0t sh0ved int0 a r0b0t with all these h0rrible em0tions that he pr0grammed int0 me

[AA] its c0ld and al0ne here with0ut having a sense 0f t0uch

[AA] the general lack of warmth

[AA] and n0w that i have feelings t0 kn0w what l0nging is

[AA] its like being trapped

[AA] because even as bad as this is I kn0w leaving it w0uld 0nly make me feel w0rse

You pause, because you never bothered to think of it that way. Here you were, complaining about your own pathetic person, when here she was with some legit problems. Problems that you had caused. Maybe it wasn’t directly your fault, seeing as you were being mind-controlled by the biggest bitch in the universe, but it still happened and it was her maroon blood on your hands.

[TA] 2hit AA, ii diidn’t thiink of iit that way.

[TA] god ii am 2uch an a22hole.

[AA] n0t really

[AA] i t0ld y0u f0r my 0wn benefit as well

[AA] t0 pr0ve a p0int

[AA] i feel better after saying all that because i t0ld it t0 s0me0ne I care ab0ut

[TA] ii told you about iit.

[AA] i d0nt c0unt

[TA] why not?

[TA] ii count for you.

[AA] i am g0ing to die and i am n0t even fr0m the alpha timeline

[AA] y0u need t0 tell s0me0ne wh0 can help y0u thr0ugh this s0llux

[AA] please c0nsider this

[TA] yeah whatever.

[TA] iill thiink about iit.

[AA] thank y0u

apocalypseArisen [AA] has exploded!!!

Part of you feels a little bit more like shit because you never even noticed your friends feelings. Dead or not, Aradia was your friend, and the closest thing you had ever had to a matesprit. You’d heard the death whispers days before the actual events occurred, and you had told her to be much more careful on her scavenges during her times in FLARP. You had warned her, and she’d listened to you because she trusted you.

_Because she trusted you._

And then you killed her and had doomed her to that emotionless state.

And you ignored her while she was a robot.

You ignored her because you thought she was just Equius’ play thing. Programmed in feelings and emotions, and you thought that was all she was. A fake. An illusion of the girl that you used to know. And after you’ve heard all this, you can’t believe how much of an idiot you are because, you had been blind this _whole time._ It might have been a fake body, but it was still Aradia’s mind in there. And she _still trusted you._

You frown as you exit Karkat’s room without another word, because you don’t want to make the same mistake again. You’d thought that _she_ was safe when her name left your head, but that was just the calm before the storm.

You needed to sleep, and find a way to save the first two voices that had dropped out of your head. Even if you really didn’t like that smarmy-mouthed fish-punning ‘not-wwizard’ two-bit asshole. And his no-longer morail.

* * *

 

You actually liked talking to Feferi. You think that, if things were different, you’d actually let her into one of your quadrants. She was a nice mix between bitter and sweet, and even though she liked to talk about feelings a little too much for your taste, she had a great personality. If your whole civilization hadn’t been reduced to the people who were left on the meteor, then she probably would have been a really good leader. Blood color was never something you cared to get into, but you think it’s good that she doesn’t agree with the segregation that comes with it.

You think about telling her that her name hasn’t been in your head all day, but you decide against it. You’ll just keep her close to you, and hope everything works out.

Throughout the weeks that you had been speaking with her, you’d actually realized that, for as much as she hated Eridan, she still cared a lot about him. According to her, he didn’t always used to be such an insufferable prick.

You’re not sure how much of that is just glorification, but whatever. You just know that she talks a lot about someone who she insists she wants nothing to do with.

Which leaves a lot of your ‘feelings jams’ about him, sometimes. Like this one, which was taking place on a pile of horns, of all things.

“...and you just don’t understand how much he’s changed! He went from this adorable kid who helped me overcome my fear of the land to this...this hate-filled monster! I thought we’d always be friends when he first smiled at me...but it seems like now all he wants to do is frown no matter what I do. Moirallegiance is a dance, and...it just doesn’t work if only one person is participating.”

And as if the magical troll in the sky has wished it, Eridan came storming out from the transportalizer and over to where you and Feferi were. God damn you didn’t want to deal with him.

“Oh GOD, it’s him. Feferi, can you tell him to go away? I don’t even have the energy for this.”

Eridan gives you this _look,_ and you can’t help but smirk.

“Hey, finless, this doesn’t concern those with mustard sludge slippin through their veins. It’s a matter or royalty only, so keep your mouth closed or I’ll slit you open over my next meal.”

You sigh, uninterested, and turn away from him. “Whatever bro. Not interethted.”

You smirk when you see Eridan’s scowl deepen out of the corner of your eye, and it’s not hard to miss how his hands start to clench at his side. You’ve always been able to get to him, and that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. As much as you hated to admit, it was sort of fun to be able to get him so riled up over things.

“Eridan,” Feferi starts, and you find yourself looking back at her, noticing that she is wearing a rather disapproving frown as she peers at the troll in question. “I don’t want to see any more dueling. Don’t try and provoke him. It’s not like I don’t know what you’re doing...You keep trying to spark a rivalry with him to get me to auspistice between you two, and pull us out of our quadrant! Oldest trick in the book and the _lamest._ It didn’t work then and it won’t work now!”

There’s a moment of silence as you turn back to Eridan, who is standing there with his lips pulled into a straight line, and his eyes narrowed just the slightest.

“That’s an astonishin accusation; how could you say that? Now, I’m leavin, so please come with me.”

Feferi pauses, and her frown replaced with a look of confusion. You watch as she sits up straighter in the horn pile, tilting her head to the side as she regards Eridan silently.

“You...weren’t serious about going to where Jack is, were you?”

And then you remember what she’s talking about. Eridan had been storming around the place with the intent of seeking Jack out, saying he was going to go where he was and do something which would in the end be totally fucking pointless because Jack’s an overpowered monsterhouse of cancerous energy. You’d figured he was full of it, and wouldn’t actually do anything.

But to hear him bringing it up here, you can’t help but get a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach. Was this what was going to lead to everyone’s doom? Eridan going and leading Jack straight to where we are? Your mind was buzzing in the same way it was when Vriska had taken control of you, and you can’t help but feel a little bit uneasy. Eridan was harmless, right? He always has been.

“Of course I was,” Eridan speaks up, pompous scowl in place yet again. “And I think that we should to it together. You’ve got nothin to fear fef, I’ve created the ultimate wand with science, and there’s no reason to worry so just come with me already. We don’t need this place.”

You laugh, albeit a bit nervously, trying to keep your worries to yourself. All times before have ended in failure on Eridan’s part. This shouldn’t be any different. “Oh wow, more shitty fake wandth. What, do you think you’re got fairy god troll?”

Eridan turns and sneers at you, the corners of his mouth twitching in annoyance. “I tend to block out noise from filth whose blood is practically the complementary fuckin color of mine.”

God damn these high-hemo bastards and their obsession with color hues.

“Eridan! Jack is extremely powerful! Don’t you think you’re over-estimating your abilities? If you go to him and try and fight him, it’ll be a cold slaughter and you’ll be dead in a heartbeat! I’m worried, don’t do this!”

Eridan’s silent for a minute, looking rather confused, and you almost believe that Feferi has gotten through to him. But not a moment later the silence is broken, and Eridan’s tough facade is back up like it never left.

“Fight him? Are you fuckin nuts? I’ve slaughtered enough Angels to know where my limits are, and I’m well aware that I’d be fish food if I ever went and tried to destroy Jack.”

“But then what are you-”

“I’m goin to join him. As the prince of hope, it’s my job to gauge when all hope is lost, and we had crossed that point long ago. What I’m doin is best for us, fef, so come on. We’re leavin.”

Feferi’s eyes widen, and you just stare at him as you both try and process the information that you were just given.

Eridan wants to join Jack, and abandon you all. He’d lead him straight to the meteor, and you all would be slaughtered. This has to be what the buzzing in your head is about; you can’t let this happen.

So you push yourself up from the horn pile and stand; practically face to face with Eridan as you smirk. “I should have killed you back on LOBAF. Would have thaved me a hell of a lot of trouble,” you pause and take a few steps back, readying yourself as you grin. “You ready, prince?”

You hear Feferi make some sort of noise in protest, but Eridan pulls a white wand from his strife specibus, and held it out in front of him. You can’t afford to lose; if you do, people will die. Jack will get to all of you, and no one will be able to survive.

There is no way you’re going to let that happen.

“Bring it, Mage.”

And you do. You can feel the psionic energy fizzing around as you remove your glasses from your eyes, gaze locked on Eridan the whole time. Simultaneously you can see Eridan’s wand powering up, a rush of white light surrounding him in a stark contrast to your blue and red.

Not a moment later you send your powers forward with all your might; the hot energy cracking around in the air and mashing straight up with Eridan’s white magic. You can feel the force pressing against your exerted energy, and for a moment you think that you’re equally matched.

But that’s all thrown out the window when you feel a sudden _influx_ brush forward against your powers, and you can’t even react because it’s suddenly shoving it’s way through -

like a wave -

and you’re being enveloped in a white hot light, psionics rendered useless as the energy from the wand comes over you and burns at your eyes, white-hot like a branding iron and you can’t even scream as you feel yourself being shot back against the wall.

You try and move, anything, but you can’t think past the hot haze that is clouding your mind and your eyes and your body. You feel like you’re body is made of lead, and you’re surprised you’re not dead. Surprised that you’re still conscious.

Through the white haze, you can hear Feferi’s voice call your name, and you feel someone hovering over you.

No.

You hear her growl, and the skidding of something heavy against the ground, and you can only associate it with her trident -

_Nonononono_

So you try and open your mouth, to tell her your fine, to tell her to stay back, to tell her not to go _near him --_

But it’s useless, and you hear her scream. You hear her bloodcurling high-pitch shriek bounce around through your ears and in your mind, which was followed only by a thump that turns your stomach. There’s a clatter of metal against the ground, and then silence,

so much silence, too _much_ silence

and you know it’s over.

Feferi is dead.

You want to cry, but before it hits you there’s suddenly a revving noise, and it takes you a moment to place where it could be coming from. But the mystery is solved when you hear someone scream Eridan’s name, and you try to yell for her to stop -

But nothing comes but the sound of a blast, the sound of a choking noise, and the sound of another thump against the ground.

Kanaya.

You feel sick, and you can feel the corner of your eyes burning with pain as something warm slides down your cheek, and then blackness.

You welcome it.


End file.
